Women Should Talk About It

Now, my blog is usually a place of happiness, fun, fashion, & adventure…and I don’t intend on changing that.  But my blog is also about life.  And life is not always rainbows and butterflies.  As much as I would like it to be sometimes, that is just not the case.  So if I sat here and only talked about happy things all the time, then this blog would just not be real.  And I think sometimes we need a dose of reality.  It may be tough for some of you to read this.  It has been a struggle for me to sit down and write this and go back to this place.  But this is a topic that most women don’t openly talk about, and I honestly think that they should.  There is no reason to hide it.  It happens more often than we think.  We just don’t realize it, because no one talks about it.  You’re probably now thinking “just go ahead and say what you are talking about!”  So here we go…

At this point, most of you now know that we have a Little Monkey on the way.  And we are SOOOOO incredibly excited!  What you may not know is that before there was a Little Monkey…there was a Peanut.  My sweet, sweet little Peanut.  My husband and I found out in September that we were expecting a child.  I had a feeling that maybe I should take a pregnancy test.  And let me tell you, I am not one of those people that freaks out and takes pregnancy tests often.  I actually had NEVER taken one in my entire life until that day…when we got those two lines.  It was actually quite surprising, because it pretty much happened “right away.”  We were shocked and ecstatic at the same time.  We said we wouldn’t tell anyone for awhile since it was so early…but then the next day, we just got too excited and told everyone.  Well, not everyone.  But all of our family, close friends, etc.  Let’s just say it was quite a few people.

The day after we found out, we were on Cloud 9.  We went to lay out in Prospect Park, pretty much skipping the whole way there.  We hung out on a blanket under the sunshine and just daydreamed of what our life would be like when our little Peanut arrived in May.  Right in time for our 2 year wedding anniversary.  We daydreamed about Peanut coming to his/her first Outer Banks vacation with the family, the 1st Christmas, taking the stroller around the city in the summertime.  It was pretty much the best day ever.  To think that we would be bringing this beautiful little life into the world.  We named the baby Peanut, because “it” just sounded awful, and we didn’t know the sex of the baby yet to say “he” or “she.”  My husband and I are both kind of small, so we figured Peanut was a perfect name for our little one.

I immediately went into “Mom” mode.  The smell of cigarette smoke at a party made me flee the scene immediately.  Alcohol was not even missed on a Saturday night.  I started reading up on all the websites and blogs for the right things to eat/not eat, pregnancy tips, etc.  I was completely protective of my little Peanut, and felt like I was already a Mom.  Although it had only been a short time, it felt like I had been carrying Peanut for much longer.

A week and a half or so after we got the good news of being pregnant, I started to have some complications.  I wasn’t sure if anything was really wrong at first, because sometimes these symptoms can happen, and everything can be just fine.  I called my mother-in-law (a midwife herself) constantly asking questions.  But as the week progressed, my complications started to get worse, and I started to get worried.  I didn’t have a doctor in NY yet, since prior to getting pregnant, I only needed to go to my OB/GYN once a year.  I had just scheduled my appointments to go when I was in Maryland during the holidays or family vacation.  Luckily, I had done some research in the NY area, and found two options that I was going to try out.  When the complications started happening, I called them both immediately.  Because, I was not already a patient, the first office I called pretty much told me there was “nothing they could do.”  If I was going to miscarry, I was going to miscarry.  That if things started to get “really bad,” then I should go to the ER.  I was kind of shocked, but I didn’t accept that for answer.  I called the other office, and luckily they brought me in for a sonogram the following day.

That day was very promising.  We saw our little Peanut on the monitor.  And there was a heartbeat!  It was the most amazing feeling, and it was extremely encouraging.  We left that day feeling very optimistic into the weekend, and overall happy that someone cared enough to help us and make us feel comfortable during this scary and terrifying time.

Unfortunately, my complications didn’t get any better, and they started to get worse throughout the weekend.  I had severe pains that weekend, and I started to get extremely worried.  I cried.  And cried.  I thought the worst.  My husband consoled me.  He was still optimistic.  We scheduled an appointment for another sonogram that Monday.

We looked up at the screen for our little Peanut…and there was nothing there.  Blank.  Just an empty uterus.  My husband was in denial.  He thought maybe we needed to do the internal sonogram again, because the baby was just too small and we couldn’t see Peanut.  But they tried that too.  And still blank.  Gone.  Just completely gone.  We both broke down at that point.  It was the first time I ever saw my husband cry in my life.  And we have been together for over 8 years.  It was my turn to console him, yet it was almost impossible as I was pretty inconsolable myself.

It felt like Peanut had just been ripped away from us.  Stolen.  The day before I had been a Mom.  And now I wasn’t.  I had been planning a baby nursery and summer plans…and now I was sitting here empty-wombed and broken.  Like I had never even been pregnant.  Like everything should just go back to normal life.  It was horrible.  I do not wish miscarriage on anyone.  We tried to be optimistic.  We said we would try again.  But we also acknowledged that the next baby would still not be our little Peanut.  We would always feel that we should have had Peanut as our first child.

Fast forward to becoming pregnant with Little Monkey.  Because we had lost Peanut, we really, really, really wanted Little Monkey.  We were lucky it did not take long.  Not that Little Monkey will ever replace Peanut.  There is no way that would ever be possible.  But maybe…just maybe there was a reason for all of this.  If we hadn’t lost Peanut, there would also be no Little Monkey on the way.  Now, I could never choose one child over another.  But maybe something was wrong with Peanut in the womb.  Maybe he/she wasn’t healthy or wasn’t developing properly.  And maybe Peanut took the sacrifice by allowing Little Monkey a shot at this big, bad world instead.  We’ll never really know, but I do hope that one day we can see our little Peanut in Heaven.

I have to say it was difficult to get excited about Little Monkey at first.  I wanted to be.  I felt like a bad Mom because I felt like I was forcing my excitement, and it wasn’t as real as my excitement with Peanut.  “I should be more excited,” I thought.  “Why can’t I be?”  Well, the reason was because I was so damn nervous.  I was terrified actually.  I couldn’t get excited, because I couldn’t deal with the loss if another child was torn away from me.  If I got excited, then it got real.  I might jinx it.  I couldn’t bear being in that dark place of unhappiness and sadness again, and so I just tried to get through day by day as if things were normal.  If I didn’t think about it too much, then the time would pass by, and before I knew it, BOOM I would be in the “safe zone.”

Well, it didn’t exactly zoom past, but it did get easier and easier with time to get excited and be less nervous.  We passed our 7 1/2 week point where we lost Peanut and that was helpful.  Then, every week after that, we got more and more excited and confident that this time things were going to work out for us.  When we went to hear Little Monkey’s heartbeat for the first time, I was extremely nervous.  After it was confirmed that there was a little one inside me, I said “OH THANK GOD,” in the office.  The midwife said, “What, were you nervous?”  And I explained what had happened the first time.  She then told me, “Well, just get ready, because this is the beginning of being nervous for the rest of your life.”

She makes a good point.  I’m sure I won’t stop worrying just a little bit throughout my entire pregnancy.  And I’m sure I will worry the first time Little Monkey gets sick, or something goes wrong, get his/her first injury, grows up and gets his/her drivers license, goes off to college, etc. etc.  That’s just what motherhood is.  Constant worrying and nervousness.

But it’s important to also ENJOY it.  I don’t want to live life saying that I was a nervous wreck and didn’t enjoy my pregnancy at all.  I want to enjoy as much of life as humanly possible.  I accept that we are presented with challenges and complications in life.  Nothing turns out perfectly.  And things don’t always turn out the way you would expect them to.  But I think it’s important to enjoy what you can.

So far my pregnancy with Little Monkey is going really well, and I am determined to relish in these moments while I have them.  So farewell to any negative thoughts.  I am staying positive from here on out.  I am back to my typical self of planning and daydreaming about what lies ahead for our little family.  Zack and I are really excited for the arrival of our Little Monkey, and we are ready to take on whatever challenges we were meant to face.  We are strong and we can overcome, and we hope to teach our Little Monkey these same life lessons come September. 🙂

XO,

Gina

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Saturday at the Market

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This past weekend, we had a wonderful visit from the in-laws, and we decided to take them to the Union Square Greenmarket on Saturday.  If you have never been to the Greenmarket, you should definitely make the trip.  There are fresh, local, organic fruits and vegetables galore, potted plants and herbs, flowers, local cheeses, meats, fresh pastas, honey, pies, candles, yarn products, and so much more.  Your mouth is watering the entire time you are there, and I felt like I had a bit of an attention problem, because my eyes were constantly being taken in different directions.  It’s hard to focus on any one thing, because there is something else amazing in the booth next door!  We had a great time walking around there, and we continued our day by taking my in-laws to the famous hot-spots Russ and Daughters and Katz’s Delicatessen.  They really enjoyed the day, and we headed back to Brooklyn afterward where we all fell into a food coma (i.e. a two hour nap.)

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We had a really great weekend spending time with family.  We hadn’t seen them since the holidays, so it was a lot of fun getting together.  We are also getting excited for this upcoming weekend as well where we will see my side of the family for Easter in Maryland.

I want to wish everyone celebrating this week a Happy Passover!

Also, Happy 92nd Birthday to my Granny today!  She is the sweetest most amazing lady!

Have a great week everyone.

XO,

Gina

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Spring Greening

Spring Greening
MOTO Denim Shorts: Topshop / Tory Burch Burlap Sandals: L’Inde Le Palais / James Jeans Skinny Jeans (on sale!): The Outnet / Robert Chiarella Emerald Envy Earrings: Max and Chloe / Prabal Gurung Racerback Tank: Target / Ray-Ban Rubberized Wayfarer Sunnies: Bloomingdales / Nettie Silk Lace Up Dress : Calypso St. Barth / Pantone Emerald Candle: Occa-Home / Jessica Simpson Suede Pumps: Piperlime / Sergio Rossi Leather Clutch: StyleBop / Kempner Bracelet: BaubleBar / OPI Go On Green – Nelly
According to Pantone, Emerald is the color of the year.  In celebration of both St. Patrick’s Day and the first day of Spring this week, I thought green would be a fantastic color to feature.  Although it’s still freezing cold outside in New York City, I am hopeful for some upcoming warm weather.  I’m looking forward to seeing all the green sprout up in the parks, on the trees, and all the flowers blooming.  I am also looking forward to putting away my winter coats for the season, and breaking out some new Spring attire.  If we could only get these snow flurries to calm down!
What article of clothing are you just dying to pull out of the closet and rock this Spring?
Happy Thursday!
XO,
Gina
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{8} Lately…

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Lately I’ve been…

reading  Just finished Belong to Me by Marisa de Santos.  Now I’m reading Love Walked In by the same author.  Someone should have told me I should have reversed that reading order.  Oh well.

writing  Bills Bills Bills.  Yes, I still do most of mine by hand.  Call me old-fashioned.

listening  The Sound of Music station on Pandora.  Complete with musical ensembles from Phantom of the Opera, Beauty and the Beast, and many more Disney and show tune favorites.  So guilty, yet so not ashamed.

thinking  About my upcoming girl’s night tonight!  Yay for friends and Mexican food!

smelling  Juicy Couture Eau de Parfum

watching  My favorite restaurant in the Outer Banks, NC, Tortuga’s Lie was featured on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives last night!  My cousin’s uncle (Richard Welch) is a chef and owner, and my cousin worked there for years.  It’s amazing, and Guy Fieri gave Tortuga’s rave reviews for their Jerk Chicken and Pork Antonio.  I’m so proud of them!

wishing  For warmer weather.  Snow be gone!  It’s time for Spring now.

hoping  For a good doctor’s report tomorrow.

wearing  This photo is from over the weekend pre-shopping trip, but today I am wearing…jeans, J. Crew navy and white polka dot button down, cream and navy striped GAP sweater w/ red bow over top, Steve Madden boots, and some fun baubles.

loving  The fact that my tax documents have already been organized and shipped out to my accountant, and I can let her take over from here.  Totally worth the money to not have to do them myself.

laughing  We watched a few documentaries over the weekend on Vice.com, and stumbled across this genre of music called Turbofolk in Serbia.  Serbian pop star, Goga Sekulic came out with this hit “Seksi Bizinesmen” (note the spelling) and we couldn’t not stop cracking up at how serious they were while performing this video.  Is that a fox on her shoulder?  The worst part is that after to listening to this song three times, I am starting to think it’s kinda catchy.

wanting  Warm weather.  Did I say that already???  Well let me just reiterate…spring cannot come soon enough.

needing  Before this weekend I was needing pants that fit!  I am now satisfied, and banning myself from shopping until spring is over since I went a bit crazy.  We’ll see how long that lasts.

feeling  A bit more energized, and a lot less nausea than the past few weeks.

craving  Family time.  I haven’t seen the fam since the holidays, so I am looking forward to my in-laws visiting this weekend, and also looking forward to seeing my side of the family on Easter weekend.  It’s been too long!

clicking  Through baby toys.  What does one get a 1 year old for their 1st birthday?  I’m new at this baby thing, folks!

What have you been up to lately?

Happy Tuesday!

Love,

Gina

***I was inspired by Tina of Like Ordinary Life to create this post, and she was inspired by Lauren of siddathornton, who started The Sunday Currently.

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Happy Bump Day

Little Monkey 13wk sono

Surprise!  Happy Bump Day!

Zack and I are so excited to announce that we have a Little Monkey on the way, expected to arrive on or around September 10th of this year. 🙂

Here is a photo from my 13 week sono.  I am now at 14 weeks, and happy to be in the second trimester.  It’s amazing how much detail you can see, and I cannot believe there is a tiny little human growing inside me!

Little Monkey is so photogenic already.  He/She even waved for the camera!  (either that or L.M. was still fist pumping from the Swedish House Mafia concert…or sucking his/her thumb?)  I’m going with L.M. was saying “Hello” and “Happy Birthday” to Dad last week.

It’s been a bit of a crazy adventure so far, and we are both looking forward to what lies ahead…specifically this weekend, I’m thinking my wardrobe needs an update of clothes that actually fit…

Happy Bump Day!

XO,

Gina

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Dinner Party

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There’s nothing like an impromptu Saturday night dinner party!  I broke out the fine china (for only the second time in two years…let’s just say was about time to put those amazing wedding gifts to good use), and whipped up a little Italiano meal for the hubs and my friends Brooke (a new Brooklynite) and Kendel (visiting from Baltimore).  Pasta with red sauce, breaded chicken, mixed green salad, and a bottle of red (or maybe two bottles of red).  Doesn’t get much better than that huh?  Except for maybe the little game of “Flip Coaster” we invented after dinner.  Don’t even get me started on how insanely good Brooke is at this game–she put us all to shame.  We had so much fun that we completely lost track of time, and the fact that we were supposed to be meeting friends out in Manhattan that night.  Zack ended up crashing, but the girls and I rallied for a fun little night at the Back Room on the Lower East Side.  The Back Room is a swank little speakeasy that serves cocktails in teacups and beer bottles in paper bags.  We had a great time, and I’m thinking we will need to have a repeat date sometime soon!

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Photos by: Zack Notes / Edited by: Myself

Dress: Free People (old) – view their current dress collection! / Leather Jacket: Vintage – love this asymmetrical alternative / Tights: Urban Outfitters / Boots: ALDO / Cardigan: Forever 21 (old) / Bag: Chinatown / Scarf: Gift / Necklace: Guilty Jean / Watch: Michael Kors / Bracelet: Baublebar / Lip: Lancome Luxe / China: Lenox Chirp

Hope everyone had a great weekend.  Mine was quite relaxing, and I’m looking forward to chilling out this week as well.  I’m a bit excited about the extra daylight hour.  It reminds me that spring is right around the corner!

Happy Birthday to my twin cousins, Briana and Victoria, today!  Love you girls!

XO,

Gina

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{7} Lately…

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Lately I’ve been…

reading  Catching up on my Marie Claire reading.  The February & March issues are featuring so many spring trends that have me itching for warmer weather.

writing  A Birthday card for the hubby.  His Birthday is on Tuesday, but we are celebrating this weekend.

listening  Swedish House Mafia all day today.  Gotta pump myself up for the concert tonight at Madison Square Garden.  Can’t believe this is their last tour.  Sad face.  I scored tix to start off the hubby’s b-day celebration.  I’ll leave you with one of my favs: Don’t You Worry Child ft. John Martin

thinking  About how much fun this concert is going to be.  It’s consuming my mind today!

smelling  The yummy bagel with cream cheese that I am about to consume.

watching  Don’t hate, but I have been loving the Snooki & JWoww show this season.  I mean, how cute is little Lorenzo?!?!

wishing  That we hadn’t been woken up at 4am last night with the doorbell ringing from a cab driver that got stiffed by my neighbor.  I mean, really?

hoping  For positivity and strength to surround my Uncle and help him fight off the sickness he has been faced with at this point in his life.  I also hope that my Mom can find equal strength since she has been his rock during this time.

wearing  Black leggings with a pink and grey striped top, black and white striped cardigan, studded combat boots, my panda necklace, and my new MAC Candy Yum Yum from my bestie, Nichole!  You rock!

loving  The fact that we started making friendship bracelets at our last girl’s night on Tuesday.  What a trip down memory lane!  So fun, but I realize my skills need some brushing up.

laughing  At this poor girl who tried to do a hair tutorial.  I know it shouldn’t be funny, but it’s kinda funny.

wanting  A big cup of coffee from Starbucks.  Preferably a Cinnamon Dolce Latte.

needing  The winner of my Flair Accessories giveaway to reply back with her shipping information.  If I don’t hear from her soon, someone else may become the lucky winner instead.

feeling  A bit sleepy due to being woken up last night.

craving  This gold Rebecca Minkoff Mini M.A.C.  Oh wait…I already bought it.  I’m not allowed to crave anything else for awhile…

clicking  Through Amazon for some photo paper to print on for class.  We are learning to use Camera RAW and Photoshop, so exciting!

What have you been up to lately?

Happy Weekend!

Love,

Gina

***I was inspired by Tina of Like Ordinary Life to create this post, and she was inspired by Lauren of siddathornton, who started The Sunday Currently.

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Spring Fever

Spring Fever
1.  Yellow Trench Coat: Target / 2.  Butter London Spring 2013 Collection: Nordstrom / 3.  Wide Brim Straw Hat – Kate Spade / 4.  Fan Fringe Necklace – J. Crew / 5.  Rainboots – Charlotte Russe / 6. Rebecca Minkoff Striped Mini M.A.C. – SHOPBOP / 7. Polka Dot Short – Forever 21 / 8.  Floral Porchfield Dress – Jack Willis / 9.  Pink Blazer – Topshop / 10.  Blue Minnie Pant – J. Crew / 11.  Jeffrey Campbell Lace Ankle Bootie – Nelly / 12.  Anchor Studs: J. Crew
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I don’t know about you, but I am OVER this cold weather!  All the talk of snow and chill has me jonesin’ for spring.  I couldn’t help but scour the online shopping world for some of my favorite on-trend pieces that I cannot wait to get my hands on.  If only I could wear them right now!  Although I tend to wear a ton of black in the winter time, I am very excited to sport some color this spring!  This little collection above makes me happy, because it reminds me that spring is just around the corner.
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In other news, congratulations to “Befab4lyfe” for winning the Flair Accessories earring giveaway!!!  Please inbox me your shipping info to { gina dot notes26 at gmail dot com }.  Then, I will have these gorgeous iridescent studs on the way to your door as soon as possible!  Thanks to all who entered the giveaway.
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I am ticking off a bucket list item tonight, that I cannot wait to share with you next week!
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Happy Friday Everyone!
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XO,
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Gina
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{Giveaway} Flair Accessories Earrings

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Despite being sold out, I was lucky enough to snag a secret pair of these stunning iridescent royal blue studs from Flair Accessories.  I am hosting a giveaway, and one of YOU will be the lucky winner and future owner of these gorgeous earrings!

To enter:

1) You MUST be a true follower of popcorn and pandas.  This means you are an e-mail, WordPress, or Bloglovin’ follower. (It’s not too late to sign up today!)

2) Extra entries will be counted for Twitter, Instagram, or Pinterest followers. (1 entry for each)

3) Comment on this post below stating: a) How you would style this pair of earrings or why you want to win them, and b) Each of the ways you follow popcorn and pandas

You can see how I styled the earrings here.

The winner will be announced Friday on the blog.

GOOD LUCK!

XO,

Gina

Morning After Nemo

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These photos were taking the morning after the big snow storm, Nemo, hit in Brooklyn.  I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood, and was surprised to find how quickly everything was plowed and shoveled.  It was a beautiful sunny day with the light reflecting off the fresh snow.  Overall, it was a quiet, relaxing little walk…a nice little break to otherwise hibernating that weekend.  Enjoy.

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Today I am enjoying the day off at home thanks to our American Presidents.  Catching up on laundry, cleaning, tv, and blogging.  Hoping to get the chance to take some more photos today as well.

Happy President’s Day!

XO,

Gina